Mass-turbation

 “It's not a crime; it's just a way to relieve stress.” 

The only practice we have done sincerely and regularly and the only homework for which boys are more serious than girls (exceptions are always there!). People say that drug addiction is worst, but the truth is after few days, you get so attached emotionally, mentally, physically and above all pleasurably, that it is almost impossible to refrain from doing so. There are rehabilitation centres for drugs, but there is no one in the world that can make you stop doing this workout.

Some say wanking prepares them for practical experience and adulthood. For some it is a practice tennis match of tossing the ball against the wall and prepares them for the actual match. Some say it exempts them of the stress especially before exams (maybe that’s why the busiest time was during our X and XII!). Some do it just for ‘time pass’. Whether you are bored, sad, happy and angry or just want some exotic pleasure, masturbation gets along with any situation.                   

It starts off with the simple provocation of friends. A few days into it and soon it becomes an indispensable part of our pre-sex stage of life. People start with a constant fear of getting busted by parents. Some are not so cautious and are often caught. They either leave the bathroom door open and parents (mostly moms) walk on to them with a pile of clothes in hands only to see their beloved son in action making weird facial expressions, or get double busted while sitting in front of the computer and jerking off intensely! But this amateur stage soon passes away and people learn the art of stealth-masturbation quite soon. Now it is almost impossible to catch them ‘wet- handed’. New innovative ideas, that would leave Einstein behind come up and our parents think that our child is most ‘impeccant’ boy and barely knows anything!

It's funny to say it, but it's actually a stage in an individual's life which can be divided in school life ‘premature jerking off’ and hostel life ‘frustrated jerking off’. In school it’s more of an experiment but in hostel life (mostly engineering and medical) it is an combined outcome of inability to get laid, frustration and desperation. Not a day passes when students are not screwed by teachers, exams and marks. The continuous tension caused by girlfriends and boyfriends also leads to this divine process.  As the saying goes “Teachers suck, studies suck, college sucks, management sucks but girlfriend doesn’t”!

Girls have this notion that boys are such weird-despo-sex freak crazies who get aroused just by hearing the word ‘sex’. But let me tell you that when people say that girls are equal to boys in every field, they do mean every field! The reason that we don’t get to hear any of the girls getting caught is that they are smart! Boys are much more open and blunt regarding this. Boys don’t have any cumbersome feeling regarding this. Girls, on the other hand, are more reserved about this as they are with the other things related to sex. But let’s hope this reticence goes away in the years to come. 

Often girls think that boys have it easy. Just get into a room, lock it and start! But what they don’t know is our minds work their butts off during it. It’s pretty hard to think when you have nothing new or exciting to recall. In my opinion girls are at a greater advantage (I’m sure boys will back me up!). Even though girls may face the same problems of privacy as the boys, at least they have the different options to choose from! Boys on the other hand can’t be much creative and have to utilise their sole option available! A boy can only be creative to the extent of switching hands. That’s it! So girls don’t underestimate the pressure that boys face. It is much more complicated than you think.

But in spite of the tremendous pressure some people wish they could just sleep for three weeks straight, wake up, masturbate in privacy, and then do it all over again. Yes it’s true. Even though they'll probably die once they're done, people want to attempt to do it all day long. If you walk down the corridors of boys’ hostel, you can distinctly hear the muffled panting sounds through some rooms at almost any time of the day.

But in hostels privacy is the only thing which is extremely rare to get and sometimes you would die for it. And it is not only because of the fact that you get fed up with your roommates and want a little peace and quiet to ‘focus on your thoughts’. It is also because it is not possible to masturbate without fear of getting caught by friends. Masturbation teaches us how to focus and ignore all the disturbances around you (outside the bathroom). Masturbation requires the total concentration on one particular thing. You need to focus only on the source of your fantasy completely and it is not possible with people always upon your neck, poking nose in whatever you are doing in bathroom. Give some fucking privacy man! As a result you always have to finish the job in at most 3 minutes! This sometimes gets a bit baffling. Many a times you get disturbed at the climax. At times you are not even able to load and you get worried “have I become impotent due to excess use”. And then you put a “DO NOT USE” tag on it, delete all the porno in laptops and pledge never to masturbate again. But as the days pass by you become restless and within a week of anxiety and restrain, you go to your friend, ask for best exotic films he has and lock yourself in bathroom. And after 20 minutes you watch all the sperms that you had saved for the past one week go down the drain! 

And surprisingly you are at peace again. :)